Why Now.

Some stories begin with a success. This one begins with the opposite. Mathias Gottwald does not sit on a throne he always had. He sits on one he reclaimed. Piece by piece. Year by year. Through failure, through stillness, through an honesty with himself that most people never summon — because it costs too much.

This story is not a success report. It is a reckoning. And at the same time a promise. Why the Gottwald Holding now? Why the journal now? Why this public presence, this stance, this visibility? Because now is the moment. Because everything before was necessary to arrive here. And because Mathias Gottwald is someone who does not run away.

THE SYSTEM AND THE CHILD WHO DID NOT FIT

There is a sentence in a report card from second grade that says everything. Not about what was wrong. But about what was always there. “Communicatively provocative” — that is how Mathias Gottwald was described as a child. Not eight years old. In second grade. What was meant as criticism then is today a description. A precise one. Because whoever questions things, whoever does not simply function, whoever points out contradictions — was always a disruptive factor in a system built on conformity.

The problem was not Mathias Gottwald. The problem was the system. But you do not understand that at eight years old. At eight you learn what the system wants from you. You learn to adapt. You learn to file down the edges that are too sharp. You learn to be silent where you actually want to speak.

“I was a typical victim of the system. Trained to function within it. And as a result I only made system-conforming decisions — at least that is what I always believed.”

THE FAILURE. THE STILLNESS. THE DEPRESSION.

There are moments in every life when the foundation breaks. Not shakes — breaks. Moments when you no longer know who you are. No longer know what you want. No longer know what to say to someone when they ask how you are doing. Mathias Gottwald experienced these moments. Several of them. Projects that failed. Personal setbacks that piled up. And then — a severe depression.

“It is as if your own life slips away from you. Suddenly you are only a passenger in your own life.”

That is a sentence many people know. But very few speak out. Because it reveals too much. Because in a society that performs strength, admitting weakness counts as defeat. Mathias Gottwald admits it. Deliberately. Publicly. Because he has understood that precisely this honesty is the prerequisite for everything else.

THE GUILT. THE RESPONSIBILITY. THE REASON TO COME BACK.

There are people who start fresh after failure — and leave everything behind. Forget the debts. Ignore the obligations. Stop calling the people they owe something to. Mathias Gottwald is not that person.

“I have people in my life who supported me, who trusted me. I still feel obligated to them. I am not someone who runs away.”

That is not weakness. That is character. He never had any intention of fleeing. And precisely that — this fundamental conviction that you clean up what you have caused — was paradoxically the anchor that held him when everything else broke away.

THE INNER TANK. STILLNESS AS SCHOOL.

There is no shortcut through the sorting out. No app that accelerates the process. No method that makes admitting mistakes more comfortable. What Mathias Gottwald did in these years is unspectacular and at the same time fundamental: he stopped running. He stopped serving the system. He began asking himself questions he had previously suppressed. What was right? What was wrong? What did I tell myself because it was more comfortable than the truth?

And then something came that changed everything. A near-death experience. A moment in which life suddenly had a different clarity — because it was almost over.

“I had the privilege of being shown that there is more. That there is still something else there.”

Some people need a catastrophe to understand what matters. Mathias Gottwald had one. And he drew a consequence from it that has determined everything since: he only makes values-based decisions.

“If I don’t like it, if it doesn’t suit me, if it isn’t coherent — then I leave it.”

THE SLAVE AND THE FREE. A QUESTION OF DECISION.

Mathias Gottwald uses a hard word when he speaks about the old way of doing business: slavery. If you do something and you do not do it out of personal passion, intention, drive — then you are nothing other than a slave. Because then you are doing what someone else wants. That applies to employees. But it applies equally to entrepreneurs, freelancers, sole traders. The system lets you believe you are free — as long as you deliver what the system wants. Real freedom looks different. It begins with the question: what do I truly stand for? What do I truly want to build? For whom?

For Mathias Gottwald, the answers to these questions were the beginning of everything that is now coming. The Gottwald Holding. The journal. The projects. This is not a random portfolio. It is a consistent architecture — built from values, not from opportunism.

NO MATTER WHO YOU WERE. NOW IS WHAT COUNTS.

There is a moment in this story that summarises everything. Mathias Gottwald speaks about whom Jesus entrusted his message to. Not to the powerful. Not to the educated. Not to the system-conforming. To fishermen. To craftsmen. To people on the margins. You only have to look at who he chose. That is not a religious statement. It is one about potential. About origin. About the lie that only certain people have the right to do great things.

“I am incredibly grateful for having recognised everything I got wrong in my life. Because that is what gave me back the strength to approach things correctly.”

That is the message. Not: I did everything right. But: I experienced everything. The highs. The lows. Every extreme. And I made a decision. Full speed ahead. Not because everything is perfect. Not because all open issues are resolved. Not because the path is easy. But because standing still is not an option. Because running away is not an option. Because a person who is present has an effect. And a person who has an effect brings about change.

“As long as we don’t run away, we are here. When we are here, we are present. When we are present, we have an effect. When we have an effect, we change things.”